Losing isn't always a bad thing…
Don’t take me…
I hide
behind blinds,
that shut out
what’s coming.
It stings!
The light comes for me.
Helpless,
I’m taken closer…
and closer…
and closer.
Let go!
I did not want this!
I resent your paradise!
I loathe your gift of eternity!
Throw me back!
Don’t take me… Please…
- Rasui Akira
written on December 27, 2006 - 4:27 AM
What hands can’t touch,
Eyes can grasp.
Echoes from pools of amber hues,
Like voices beyond the tunnel,
Beckoning, seducing…
I’m your fool.
Soul begs to be your reflection…
…You allow it.
Heart surrenders for your bidding…
…You take it.
Mind halts…
…I,
…You,
…One!
Lips on leather soles,
Tastes like juice
from the apples of Eden.
Give me more!
I’m your fool,
A fool’s fool.
I’m… a… fool…
- Rasui Akira
written on December 22, 2006 - 9:09 PM
Ton of ideas
laid out on paper,
Drawing blood
in every stroke,
Relief in each unveiling.
Foreign eyes often ignore,
beauty between the lines.
Those who dare,
are honored by its presence.
If only it has reached the minds
of people whom they are meant for.
The shouts are silenced.
The lights are dimmed.
The ink won’t flow…
…It won’t flow.
- Rasui Akira
written on December 20, 2006 - 8:32 PM
The swaying of the pendulum,
The ticking of time,
The passing of day to night.
It’s done, I couldn’t go back.
All I could do
is let you hear this word.
Then maybe, just maybe,
It could erase that moment.
Turn it into a void,
That neither of us knew existed.
Burned into our dreams,
Etched into our lives.
It’s over, can’t be undone.
Nothing could ever change it.
Still… I’m sorry.
- Rasui Akira
written on December 20, 2006 – 4:31 PM
I want to kiss the moon this Christmas,
And let skies shed tears of snow.
I want chills to run through my body,
Like water through stream as they flow.
Remind me of sweetness.
Let me feel love just once.
I want to hug the stars,
So warmth will make me feel.
That someone…
…somewhere
…someday,
Will answer my prayers when I kneel.
Remind me that I dream,
Let me know that I’m heard.
I want to be a puzzle,
Only with that missing piece.
Maybe then I’ll be content,
My soul will be at ease.
Remind me that it’s possible,
Remind me that it can be real,
And the holidays will somehow make it happen.
- Rasui Akira
written on December 20, 2006 – 3:34 PM
The weight is on my shoulders.
It’s for me,
and me alone.
The smoke,
I inhale
and exhale.
The sweet poison,
I’m drowning in,
The strain,
the sweat,
the tears,
Is my undoing.
Get you’re hands away from me!
I don’t need your kindness.
Will it soothe me?
Will it end my thirst?
You only think that it will.
This is mine.
Mine!
Only mine.
- Rasui Akira
written on November 17, 2006 - 10:46 AM
I’m the lost boy,
Smelt of smoke and liquor,
And who stared into infinity.
The lights spun,
round and round.
The sounds
startled my quiet heart.
And the people
moved swiftly.
I wish my innocence never died
when I vomited.
It still comes.
Nausea, burning my insides.
Wash my stained clothes.
Give me a bath.
Please! Rid me of the chaos!
- Rasui Akira
written on November 13, 2006 – 3:05 PM
Lips move awkwardly.
Stares deceiving.
It escapes,
only to be unknown.
Do you offer me those kind words,
oh glorious oppressors?
Stop slashing me from behind,
Hit me between my eyes!
You’re silent, are you offended?
For you are only bold,
when hiding behind a curtain.
- Rasui Akira
written on November 9, 2006 – 4:35 PM
Hanging on twine,
like it’s built from steel,
Unmoved by the peril below.
Your face painted with a grin,
As eyes stared forward,
capturing the skies.
What makes you steady?
You thirst, but you don’t drink.
You need life, but you chose death.
The sun can’t shine eternally,
in a world with two sides.
Light submits to darkness,
at least once.
- Rasui Akira
written on November 9, 2006 – 4:21 PM
The heat is within me.
I’m flushed by the embers.
Numbing thoughts,
Slave to magic goblins.
Anxiety vanishes,
Lust in my veins.
Can’t I be happy
without poison?
Sultry incubi,
Share me your secret,
For enjoying the pain
of others and myself.
Nothing makes sense now,
except for this emerald wonder.
- Rasui Akira
written on November 3, 2006 – 7:31 PM
Calm me with the sweetness.
Your embrace
within a thousand tendrils,
Caressing each nerve.
Sweep me off my feet.
Take me to lands untouched,
As golden leaves slumber,
Under the sun’s shy gaze.
- Rasui Akira
written on November 10, 2006 - 1:36 PM
Let go!
My hands are not yours.
Each stroke, consuming.
I’m hypnotized by the fluorescence.
In a world with six walls,
No doors, no windows.
All I have
is a lonely escape key.
Time and space are lost,
In the vortex
of a recurring novel.
Why can’t I detach?
One push is freedom.
Yet I’m idle.
Oh sweet, blind hopes!
So I ask you again,
Let go!
My hands are not yours!
- Rasui Akira
written on November 1, 2006 – 10:28PM
Apertures on head are obscure.
Whirling shades only mystifies.
Relaying depth uncertain,
As blinds mislead the wise.
You merely relate with fiction,
Though gaze captures light.
The world owns your perception now,
For perversion compromises sight.
Unfortunate to have such gift,
When its purpose is disabled.
It’s gone beyond the eclipse,
In the midst of a lonely fable.
Would it bring much relief,
if you’re sightless as me?
Visions will only come true,
When eyes no longer see.
- Rasui Akira
written on September 4, 2006 - 2:56 AM
Above the roots,
Warmth gazes through.
From heaven’s rejoicing,
And sparrow’s flight.
Beyond the stalk,
Jade children rustle,
Whilst the humble breeze,
Cradle them to slumber.
Throughout the arms,
Blossoms fall ablaze,
Welcomed by the plains,
Where life sprung.
Above the roots,
There we bloom.
From heaps of tears,
and smiles,
and roars.
As the cycle gives
a chance anew.
- Rasui Akira
written on August 4, 2006 – 3:17 PM
It’s too late, you’re gone.
I had no choice.
Keeping you will be
our undoing.
Or am I just selfish?
My body remains awkward.
My soul still dazed.
Regrets can't thaw,
A victim of a frigid heart.
It’s unfair,
that I let you suffer
the cost of my imprudence.
Foolish for me to ask
for your forgiveness.
But I’m already a jester
in this cruel stage.
Now I have nothing,
Only love I never got.
- Rasui Akira
written on June 30, 2006 – 2:21 PM
Alas, the end has met
what’s been started.
Part of me is now lost.
Hiding in the dark recesses
that I call home.
I can’t speak through dead lips.
I can’t reach with withered arms.
Eyes still yearn for images of you.
Though you’ve been most obliged
to denounce my existence.
If only echoes moved you,
I may not have been
a prey of circumstance.
Anger can never succumb me,
For you’re just a faint memory,
Which even dreams can’t recall.
Now all I have is love
that I could never give.
- Rasui Akira
written on June 30, 2006 – 2:16 PM
It’s the breezes embrace.
As wrath breaks
the peaceful beyond,
And drops of lost smiles,
Drowns the will
of our innocence.
Light will soon return,
When the sky stirs again.
- Rasui Akira
written on June 30, 2006 – 2:09 PM
What’s in search,
Still hides,
Beneath the twilight.
Though summer reigns,
Unbreakable still,
The shadows of yesterday.
You’re January.
Stirring the wise,
With your ubiquity.
If certain of ambition,
Grin won’t harbor disgust,
Embrace won’t suffocate.
Only drought comes,
For someone who waits.
- Rasui Akira
written on May 30, 2006 – 12:01 AM
It pierces through the abyss,
Light vanquishing gloom.
Eyes awake, admiring the wonder.
Breath returns, though never gone.
His retreat led this place.
To uncertainty, chaos in its reach.
But who would be denied,
The gift of his love.
For in the depths of one’s illusion,
He journeyed unselfishly,
So hearts would not be tainted,
By the twilight of our pasts.
His sacrifice is honored,
Through relentless gratitude.
We may never surpass your grace,
But steps can fit in your prints.
Eternal is the lesson of your rebirth.
- Rasui Akira
written on April 15, 2006 – 8:35 PM
Aches of a thousand blisters,
Remnant in my core,
Plaguing my facade,
With encumbering gloom.
I miss you,
But not really.
Maybe this will subside,
If memories flee.
Then healing would be certain.
Would it?
My gift of pain,
Is also mine.
Profanity was my wish,
Your piety never indulged in.
Its better that we’re free,
If only not caged still.
Now I have myself,
My selfishness.
We’ll be fine,
Once we’ve found ourselves.
Those lost will be regained,
Those wasted to be reused.
Find something better,
Something else,
Someone that’s not me.
- Rasui Akira
written on April 13, 2006 – 10:17 PM
A desert,
Where blood flows.
You’re not shale,
You flinch with its breaking.
Yet, you chose to stay,
Under the eternal heat,
While an oasis waits,
Dews to quench your thirst.
May you be content,
Of the choice you’ve taken.
Be forewarned,
Weariness is coming.
For it will only get hotter,
It will only scathe you further.
- Rasui Akira
written on March 28, 2006 - 2:28 AM
dedicated to a friend, Stef ( a.k.a “Paning” )
Orifice moves,
Delivering truth,
Through electronic routes.
Distance to approach.
Though echoes,
Reach one’s sense,
It couldn’t resound.
Misled, deaf.
The illusion of space,
Has hindered fact.
But inescapable,
Wounds of aversion.
If wisdom could rain down,
So as to cleanse both,
Burdens will be removed.
Now, only tears are your ablution.
- Rasui Akira
written on March 28, 2006 - 1:58 AM
dedicated to a friend, Jim
From stillness,
Rhythmic swaying.
The world stirs,
Dizzying bloom.
Draw me closer,
Lights now in reach.
Lift me higher,
Wings set to soar.
Strength may wither,
Grasps will tighten.
Rust do dress you,
But I’ll linger.
Free me from arms,
Once I’m reborn.
Let it land me,
To peace wanted.
- Rasui Akira
written on March 26, 2006 – 4:50 AM
Swift and elusive,
It glides through space.
Cutting breath,
With boldness.
Punishing the innocent,
As well as the guilty.
Through forces spawning,
From the hands of a rogue,
It will come to taste death.
Tainting its shimmer,
With the draining of a life,
A fleeting of a soul.
But it remains unnoticed.
That as victim pleas,
It sheds the same sorrow.
Blood and tears will soon rust,
The will beneath the steel,
For sympathy can’t last within.
- Rasui Akira
written on March 9, 2006 – 7:22 PM
I loathe my destiny.
It’s unfair,
For one to stand alone.
Your mercy is lost,
My bitterness harbor them now.
I present me to you,
A sacrifice,
For I have no worth anymore.
Make me a soulless wanderer,
Confusing earth with my being.
But let me not forget,
The horror I’ve become,
An absurdity to God’s creations.
Don’t wait any longer.
The time is now.
Repent me of myself!
- Rasui Akira
written on February 20, 2006 – 6:02 PM
It’s divine.
Images of my hopes,
Graced upon the horizon.
Seas glorified with its reflection.
Yet, radiance can’t reach earth,
Where I’m left drowning.
Illusions are only meant for skies.
Alas, I couldn’t share the sunset,
And I could never see it again.
- Rasui Akira
written on February 20, 2006 – 5:56 PM
All is a tremble.
Bow down,
Oblivion is here.
Oaks fall,
Denied foundation.
Fauna falters,
Death in master’s core.
Can’t run,
Can only crawl.
Can’t hide,
Where would you?
Accept thy wrath!
Accept thy sentence!
Accept thy cruel end!
- Rasui Akira
written on February 14, 2006 – 4:30 PM
Deaf I was,
Fury forceful.
Wisdom drowned,
Ignorant to deception.
Touch swayed to doubt,
It is now certain.
Howls harbor whispers,
Speaking of hope eminent.
I may not grasp thy context,
But I could inhale it,
Taking back all that escaped,
Living with what’s been forsaken.
- Rasui Akira
written on February 14, 2006 – 4:06 PM
It’s a while,
Since you basked in the blizzard.
I’ve watched,
As spikes pierce flesh,
Depleting little warmth you have.
Can you still feel the shards,
Though frozen in senses’ death?
Your invitation seems rewarding,
But time will thaw you slowly,
Instilling the much unbearable.
Your ridiculous plight,
Could never grace you with apathy.
Because you belong in a world,
Drenched in it.
- Rasui Akira
written on February 14, 2006 – 4:22 PM
Passion brought me here,
And it shall lead me to thy end.
Judgment guards the gates,
Where plains shelter you.
Wings lent can’t exalt me.
Pinions revisit ashes,
Plummeting, earth into glass.
Eyes will succumb to dusk,
Life will join the winds.
This is not my undoing,
Only my rebirth.
From where I’m left dull,
There I shall awaken,
To come to you again.
- Rasui Akira
written on February 14, 2006 – 3:36 PM
Sounds confined,
Echoes infinitely.
Reluctant,
Response is devastation.
I wait,
Not to ignore,
But to be attuned,
Until granted an invitation.
My silence is not my defeat,
It’s only words never spoken.
- Rasui Akira
written on February 13, 2006 – 8:43 PM
dedicated to someone
Spirits whisper,
Hollowness to fill.
Bitter,
Hypnotizing,
Toxic,
But inviting.
Redundant,
The plight at hand.
Muted,
With every sip.
I yearn to flee,
From ravenous grasps.
But assumption,
Seems saner.
Senses disabled,
Stubbornness triumphant,
Eating at insides,
Sickeningly sweet.
It burns,
Scathing hell’s fire.
No one could help me,
Neither could I.
- Rasui Akira
written on February 13, 2006 – 08:35 PM
Luminous can’t shine.
Buried in dunes,
Hope of oneness’ bliss.
Unforgiving circumstance.
Sacrilege I indulge in,
For detention.
Deaf to sage’s wisdom,
Inescapable truths.
Heart would sleep,
Burdened by pondering,
Lasting countless moons.
Glory haunts.
Sun will celebrate soon,
Yet I remain to this eve.
Merriment, bitterness,
Cruel irony.
- Rasui Akira
written on February 13, 2006 – 8:28 PM
Lush thickness,
An evergreen labyrinth.
Monsters lurk,
Spawns from distant slumbers.
Unconscious, fallen angel.
Strangeness blankets,
Giving chills.
Screams escape.
I awaken,
Silence’s shattering.
Unfaltering,
Rushes to agony’s origin.
You’re here at last, yet distraught.
Hands I offer, unresponsive.
Alas, though I’ve found you,
You never found yourself.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 28, 2006 – 4:12 PM
dedicated to someone
“If you realize that you have enough,
You are truly rich.
If you stay in the center and embrace
Death with your whole heart,
You will endure forever.”
- Tao Te Ching, Chapter 3 (Lao Tzu)
It’s been like centuries since I first yearned for an unconditional embrace -- a cradle already being shared by those around me. I frequently glance at them while imagining that I too was having the time of my life, gazing into the eyes of my beloved. Oh, how a wonder it must be.
If only I could dream and never wake up…
I do try to manifest my fantasies, ever diligent to the endeavor. But it seems like different rules apply. All attempts were granted with shameful defeat, followed by months of intensive self therapy. I remain, still alone.
A drunken smoker.
A stubborn fool.
A wandering idiot.
Unhappy, frustrated, broken.
How could I truly smile? How could I say “I’m ok” without feeling guilty? How could I be real if I can’t even accept reality? If only I was content.
Content…
… Of being alone
… Of being lost
… Of being captive
If only I could… Could you?
- Rasui Akira
written on January 28, 2006 – 3:48 PM
In eclipse,
Head bowed, arms up high,
Lifeless on constraints,
Captive by a dictator.
Velvet parts, awaking.
Ceramic eyes fixate.
Massive glare,
Anger to reciprocate.
A jolt, command impending.
Shameful dances,
For living forest.
Cardiac, core ruptures.
Luster fades, filthy.
Renewal to abuse again.
Infinitely bound,
Never will be her own.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 25, 2006 – 4:29 PM
Bleak pastures of heaven,
Send bullets,
For tainted earth.
Ricochets on hydrogenous sheet.
Chill touches,
Piercing flesh.
Clasping body, quaking,
Warmth inapt still.
I remain,
Imbuing self,
With temper concealed,
In every shot.
Mirrors form from drips,
Plight manifests.
Finally eyes gave to the cause,
Of showing me my sorrow.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 25, 2006 – 4:20 PM
Hope etched,
On brittleness.
Graves depict absence.
But when celestial shines,
Only memories stay.
Already drenched,
Self pity staining.
Tell what plans You have,
So doubts won’t wound.
Rejection only incurs wrath.
If You don’t want me,
Why did you make me?
- Rasui Akira
written on January 20, 2006 – 3:13 PM
I run,
Going to envy.
I stare.
Eyes blaze, blinding.
I stay,
Hating self.
I cry,
Chances in memory returning.
I shout,
Lies encased I scare.
I break,
Beaten by frustration.
I leave,
Abandoning the permanent.
I smoke,
Sorrow fumigated.
I return,
Searches love never gained.
I walk,
Home waits.
I knock,
Is anybody there?
I enter,
Desperation pulled me in.
I lay,
Staring at own void.
I pray,
Heavens forever silent.
I sleep,
Still no one for me.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 14, 2006 – 09:16 PM
From nowhere,
Chaos erupts.
Messages mind capture,
Distant from self.
Rampant anger,
Blurred on imaginary pages,
Soaked in distress,
Drawing blood on edges.
Another takes over,
Binding with aura.
Freezes perception,
Complexity overwhelming.
Flesh throbs.
Pain, streaking.
On wrists, hurting.
Scars burn, tattooed.
Heart gives out.
Sympathy offered,
For pain lent.
Torment floods, drowning.
Heal thy sender,
If merciful You truly are.
Own wellness I’ll sacrifice,
Just save his.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 14, 2006 – 8:50 PM
Celestial, paradise of oneness.
Crimson fields decorate.
Winds caress, they sway.
Sweet aroma.
Steps wander at gaze,
Approaching blue cascades.
Lips kiss dews contained,
Savoring beauty.
White haven waits,
Softness perpetual.
Cradles on retreat,
Senses lifted.
Your vision exudes contentment,
Doubt escapes mine.
Black thoughts obscure,
Disturbing utopia.
If serpents come to bite,
Venoms’ grasp will dissipate gifts.
Rustic shards for angelic plush,
Hurting innocence.
Sanity faints on life’s leaving.
Fight inhibitions, I must do now.
Green plains won’t speak death but,
Life eternal.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 13, 2006 – 04:13 PM
Glowing sun in circular domes,
Cast black twins on paved grounds.
Following origins’ shapes,
Each movement, mimicking.
Vanishes to reconcile with blankness.
Mist divides, luminous void in between.
Fear escapes, they rest.
Tiny wings approaches sharing their glow,
Rejoicing at such wonder.
If present meets future,
Light will dim, in hiding once more.
So bask in it, you should.
Let it awaken you now,
Because chances are finite.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 12, 2006 – 07:10 PM
Blinding light, squints.
Foreign instrument touches, cold as ice.
Confuses sanity, questioning.
Restless, lacking answers.
Figure appears, white-drenched image.
Needle in hand, penetrates.
Dark red fills, elixir rushes out.
Sterile puffs cover, offering stops.
Unconsciousness visits, body stagnant.
Fire and frost arise, fighting on fleshy plains.
Viral beasts rejoice, plaguing host.
Immunity falters, they take over.
Panic replaces silence, tranquility breaks.
Droplets fall, colliding on tiled surface.
Footsteps race, memory a blur.
Chariots arriving, destination uncertain.
Eyes wake, consuming strangeness.
Care slumbers, lying upon sheets.
Vessels carrying cure, ventures narrow passages.
Revitalizes, disease will be no more.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 12, 2006 – 05:30 PM
Moon shares with sun on heavens,
One ventures lands amidst glimpse.
Mystery exudes being,
Earth shatters on sole’s touch.
Hides in fields of blackened strands,
Eyes stare, consuming emptiness.
Lips greet a demonic ember,
Lungs welcome nicotine’s spawn.
Charred wood in his past,
Crumbling orchards, seared with passing.
Life flees, choking from madness,
Harmony dying, fumes poison hope.
Sight visit wreckage at times,
Demons forcing a grin.
Compassion cries, sprouting dews,
On pools of brown spectacle.
Alas, waning limbs release body,
Flames surround engulfing its master.
Soul lost with burn of flesh,
Haunts consciousness corpse once owned.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 11, 2006 – 07:31 PM
Thoughts captive, words rattle in bags.
Camouflage-clad beings pace their space.
Steps bounce off walls,
and, in steel barred fences,
each one resides,
hears doors occasionally creak,
in the prison of one's mind.
Refugees with mission,
shatter time's stillness,
restore social peace.
Yet reluctant, they flee,
Escape through some passage,
would be their defeat.
Watchers cloaked in the dark,
senses awake, reflexes alert,
pursue all who oppose.
Even as vanguards rest,
they choose to stay,
converse, formulate strategies.
Chills rush down spines,
as guards charge furious as lions,
at sounds of their snoring.
Rays pierce walls.
Plans now ready,
freedom is evident.
Time watches captives.
Light guides them ahead.
Winds embrace them.
Plains of pressed pulp shelter their loads,
of endless remarks they've carried.
Garden of ideas form,
nourishes fruit it bears.
Share Eden their venture -
broken lands will heal and flourish.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 10, 2006 – 11:10 PM
Acknowledgement:
Thanks to Zonia ( Anna Emkah ) and Lyndon ( Allpoetry ) for taking time to read and help edit the poem for a contest ( though it was too late to enter ) and for the tips they've given me in writing poetry.
Don’t know how to discern,
Emotions raging within.
Sanity is overwhelmed.
Consciousness is questioned.
To speak of words uncertain,
Would be devastating.
If divulged early,
Both of us will pay.
Clues linger,
Further confusing intellect.
Testing limits,
With each appearance.
Loss of image might help,
To clarify questions,
Justify testimonies,
Remove doubts.
Could you disappear for a while?
Retreat, so I may be certain.
Let my empathy drive me,
To your presence once more.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 10, 2006 – 07:31 PM
How long will I be like this,
A hyposchizomaniac with no core?
Forever may not be enough.
How long until I get sick of my games,
The vices that consumed me since my childhood?
Maybe now, I’m gagging at the moment.
How many lies could I take in?
My soul is worn out from the stress.
I am already fed up, that’s why I’m slowly dying.
I’ve been time’s slave!
The realization was another one of its devilish tricks.
I’m impatiently waiting for the tides to swell,
So that the waves will consume me.
To be lost in the past…
To sleep in the present…
To be forgotten in the future…
Hope you had you’re fun,
Because I’ve had it! I’m finished…
- Rasui Akira
written on January 9, 2006 – 05:08 PM
A race to find shelter,
Seeking rest from the strain,
Of the murmurs that line up the path.
Falling frequently,
Just to look back at the laughter.
My eyes swell up, but tears can’t run,
Only blood from wounds I took.
At last I’ve reach what I searched for,
A door to the unknown.
All doubts were put aside,
Just to silence my anguish.
Turned the knob to rid me of the shame.
In a room I found myself,
Gasping for precious air.
I stayed in the abysmal darkness,
Letting out the lingering fear,
Comforting myself with seclusion.
Alas! They’ve reached me.
Pounding the door to rubble as their cackles echoed.
It’s no use!
The more I hide,
The more I am vulnerable,
The more likely I would be found,
Thus removing little dignity I had left.
Just let me sleep eternally,
Let sadness drown out the mockery.
And in my dreams I would hide again,
Forever weak and restless,
Hopeless and frightened.
So please, I beg of you!
Let me sleep…
Let me sleep…
Let me sleep…
- Rasui Akira
written on January 9, 2006 – 04:43 PM
The sun rains down to pierce the clouds,
To reflect its radiance on the surface.
I stood and walked to be closer,
Yet it passed me quickly, given its slow pace.
Struggled to follow the path it took,
To gain its glory upon my palms.
Finally, it stopped,
Giving chance to my oblivious desires.
Its magnificence danced, hoping to hold it,
So that each ray will fill me up,
With insurmountable joy that dreams only knew.
Yet I couldn’t.
Like a mirage, it teasingly escaped,
Concealing itself behind the skies it once pierced.
Desperation fueled me to pursue it again,
Shattering the borders along the way.
But it’s impossible.
Incapacitated, I knelt,
Breaking down at the ground it touched.
Tried to feel its presence amidst its clear absence.
I screamed with the great frustration,
While I cried with utter defeat.
I could never have what I want,
Like I could never have you.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 9, 2006 – 04:32 PM
I light up another stick.
The pungent taste touches my lips.
Inhaling to fill my soul,
With the aura of days fleeting.
The red ember intensifies with every take,
While the smoke dances,
Enticing with each movement.
Gray smog envelopes me,
Giving me an awkward warmth,
Like hands welcoming an embrace.
Its robust aroma nullifies,
All that is sweet.
Senses moved by each passing of foul air.
Stirring up my sanity,
Testing my endurance.
Deadly it may seem,
As I end another pack.
Yet the relief it gives is rare.
With every hit, a temporary utopia awakens,
Giving freedom from troubles,
Gladness, unavailable from mortal sympathy,
New life to replace the old.
So grant me another chance,
To soothe thy being.
It may be my last.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 6, 2006 – 12:06 AM
You still waited,
Even if it’s coming was impossible.
You’re frail with dehydration,
Motionless yet breathing.
Hope lays within does depths of darkness,
Which resides in your swelling eyes.
The pool of tears was your only oasis,
The teasing moon was your only companion.
You bled with the passion and anger you felt,
Soiling the dying grass at your feet.
But no matter how much you suffer,
No matter how much you sacrifice,
Defeat will be thy only reward,
Because there is no solace for a martyr.
- Rasui Akira
written on January 4, 2006 – 7:52 PM
