No More Time!

How long will I be like this,
A hyposchizomaniac with no core?
Forever may not be enough.

How long until I get sick of my games,
The vices that consumed me since my childhood?
Maybe now, I’m gagging at the moment.

How many lies could I take in?
My soul is worn out from the stress.
I am already fed up, that’s why I’m slowly dying.

I’ve been time’s slave!
The realization was another one of its devilish tricks.

I’m impatiently waiting for the tides to swell,
So that the waves will consume me.

To be lost in the past…
To sleep in the present…
To be forgotten in the future…

Hope you had you’re fun,
Because I’ve had it! I’m finished…

- Rasui Akira

written on January 9, 2006 – 05:08 PM

In Those Depths

A race to find shelter,
Seeking rest from the strain,
Of the murmurs that line up the path.
Falling frequently,
Just to look back at the laughter.

My eyes swell up, but tears can’t run,
Only blood from wounds I took.

At last I’ve reach what I searched for,
A door to the unknown.
All doubts were put aside,
Just to silence my anguish.
Turned the knob to rid me of the shame.

In a room I found myself,
Gasping for precious air.
I stayed in the abysmal darkness,
Letting out the lingering fear,
Comforting myself with seclusion.

Alas! They’ve reached me.
Pounding the door to rubble as their cackles echoed.

It’s no use!
The more I hide,
The more I am vulnerable,
The more likely I would be found,
Thus removing little dignity I had left.

Just let me sleep eternally,
Let sadness drown out the mockery.
And in my dreams I would hide again,
Forever weak and restless,
Hopeless and frightened.

So please, I beg of you!
Let me sleep…
Let me sleep…
Let me sleep…

- Rasui Akira

written on January 9, 2006 – 04:43 PM

Grasping Light

The sun rains down to pierce the clouds,
To reflect its radiance on the surface.
I stood and walked to be closer,
Yet it passed me quickly, given its slow pace.

Struggled to follow the path it took,
To gain its glory upon my palms.
Finally, it stopped,
Giving chance to my oblivious desires.

Its magnificence danced, hoping to hold it,
So that each ray will fill me up,
With insurmountable joy that dreams only knew.
Yet I couldn’t.

Like a mirage, it teasingly escaped,
Concealing itself behind the skies it once pierced.
Desperation fueled me to pursue it again,
Shattering the borders along the way.

But it’s impossible.
Incapacitated, I knelt,
Breaking down at the ground it touched.
Tried to feel its presence amidst its clear absence.

I screamed with the great frustration,
While I cried with utter defeat.
I could never have what I want,
Like I could never have you.

- Rasui Akira

written on January 9, 2006 – 04:32 PM

As The Smoke Takes Me

I light up another stick.
The pungent taste touches my lips.
Inhaling to fill my soul,
With the aura of days fleeting.

The red ember intensifies with every take,
While the smoke dances,
Enticing with each movement.

Gray smog envelopes me,
Giving me an awkward warmth,
Like hands welcoming an embrace.

Its robust aroma nullifies,
All that is sweet.
Senses moved by each passing of foul air.
Stirring up my sanity,
Testing my endurance.

Deadly it may seem,
As I end another pack.
Yet the relief it gives is rare.

With every hit, a temporary utopia awakens,
Giving freedom from troubles,
Gladness, unavailable from mortal sympathy,
New life to replace the old.

So grant me another chance,
To soothe thy being.
It may be my last.

- Rasui Akira

written on January 6, 2006 – 12:06 AM

The Martyr

You still waited,
Even if it’s coming was impossible.
You’re frail with dehydration,
Motionless yet breathing.

Hope lays within does depths of darkness,
Which resides in your swelling eyes.
The pool of tears was your only oasis,
The teasing moon was your only companion.

You bled with the passion and anger you felt,
Soiling the dying grass at your feet.
But no matter how much you suffer,
No matter how much you sacrifice,
Defeat will be thy only reward,
Because there is no solace for a martyr.

- Rasui Akira

written on January 4, 2006 – 7:52 PM